I soon realised that, after giving birth to my perfect little baba, there is a whole load of shit that goes on that no one warns you about… So that’s what i’m doing today – warning you. Just a lighthearted look at the things that I wish I had been prepared for before having Archie!
– BLOOD. And lots of it.
I had no idea just HOW much blood would come out after giving birth. Sure I knew that there would be some right there and then, but no one told me that I would still be bleeding EIGHT WEEKS LATER. Disgusting – and scary -, I know. But let’s be honest, after going through labour and delivering not only your baby but your actual placenta too, the sight of blood stops bothering you so much…
– WHERE HAS MY HAIR GONE?!
The sheer amount of my hair that has been coming out in clumps every time I wash or brush my hair is enough to give anyone nightmares. Luckily, my hair is thick anyway but even then, I’m still noticing the difference. Helppp!
– Who needs sleep anyway…?
Of course I knew that I wouldn’t be getting as much sleep as I was used to before having Archie, but I had no idea that I would wake up after a solid 4 hours in a row and feel like a totally new woman. Seriously. It’s amazing how little sleep you can actually function on – and when I say function, I mean be able to get out of bed, change a few nappies and make some bottles… that’s about it – but still, it amazes me that I don’t need as much sleep as I thought. Thinking about the first time I’ll get to sleep all the way through the night sounds like such a dream…one day though, I have faith!
– Milk EVERYWHERE…
Those first few weeks after Archie was born, I was trying to breastfeed. Not only was that a challenge in itself, but my boobs were constantly leaking and spraying milk all over the shop. Sounds hilarious, I know, but when you can’t get through a day without an outfit change or hug someone tightly without feeling yourself leaking it’s REALLY not so fun. And don’t even talk about trying to get some sleep! If Archie went more than two hours without feeding through the night, my boobs would be rock solid, sore + spraying everywhere so that I was totally unable to get any kind of rest. You know what’s worse than this, though? Mastitis. It’s basically an infection that occurs when your boobs get clogged up with milk – so I got it almost as soon as I stopped breastfeeding. It gives you flu-like symptoms (fever, cold sweats, fatigue etc) as well as THE most painful boobs in the world. The joys…
– Poo chats are totally normal.
You wouldn’t believe the amount of conversations I have a day with Chris about poo…and that it has now become a totally acceptable topic of conversation. If we haven’t seen each other in a few hours, almost the first thing we say to each other is guaranteed to be ‘Has he pooed today?’. But honestly, I now know that poo is IMPORTANT. The look, smell, size… whether you like it or not, all has to be kept an eye on when you have a wee one! And hey, it’s always fun to hear all about the latest poo explosion – we’ve already got some great tales to tell, that’s for sure. Parenthood really isn’t so glamorous after all, I promise you that…
– I’ve stopped CARING.
Honestly, I never thought that I would be ‘that’ kind of mum that doesn’t shower every day, lets my hair get greasy, doesn’t wear makeup and barely EVER looks put together. I had this vision of myself being such a glamorous Mum every single day because I’ve always cared about how I look, but I was seriously wrong. I honestly can’t remember the last time I woke up and thought about myself first. Showers – yeah sure, whenever I can…washing my hair though? You can forget it! Greasy hair is the new style, right? And as for makeup, well that only ever happens if I’m going out for the day…and only if I can be bothered or can spare the time. My priority is now – and always will be – Archie. I make sure he has the cutest of outfits on, a clean face, fresh nappy and constantly try to get as many smiles out of his cute little face as I possibly can.
But do you know what the most important thing that I wasn’t told about before I had Archie? Just how much love I would have for my new, mini fun-sized best friend as soon as I became a Mama. I can’t imagine not having him in my life now, and honestly miss him after a few hours away from his perfect little button nose and squishy cheeks. There’s nothing I love more than pulling silly faces, smothering him in kisses and watching him snore and snuffle away in his sleep. My heart has honestly doubled in size and filled with love for my handsome boy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am lucky enough to have the most amazing little family and would honestly take any number of negative, gross situations like the ones I’ve mentioned any day of the week, just to make them happy.